This could be a very long post, but I’ll try to be concise.
There is so much NOT to say…and yet so little that helps. A simple "I’m so sorry" is much better than trying to reason with "why" or any of the "she’s in a better place" clichés.
There is so much that could have been done at the hospital…not to make things easier, because that is impossible….but to keep things from being worse. My hospital was out of the purple cards they put on doors to indicate a loss…yet they didn’t think to put a note on the door, color a piece of paper purple, or anything else. Instead, they did nothing…which meant that everyone entering my room congratulated me and asked where the baby was.
The priest that came was unable to baptize my daughter. He said that since she was not born alive, she had no original sin and did not "need" to be baptized. I have several issues with this:
How can the church say life begins at conception, but then say my child never lived?
Why can’t priests make an exception when a grieving mother asks for this?
With all the changes/excpetions/concessions our Pope is making (such as forgiving abortions), why is this still an issue?
My mom baptized Lucy, for which I will forever be grateful…this is just the principle of the matter.