There is so much dark and so little light.
The darkness of "I’m sorry to tell you…." The darkness of labor, what should be exciting, being so emotionally painful that you don’t think you can bear it. The darkness of leaving the hospital with a memory box, instead of a baby and a lifetime of memories ahead. The darkness of the days and weeks following….watching other babies come into the world, other baby showers pass by and my own baby shower pass by.
Even the light is overshadowed by the dark. The light of getting to hold my child, overshadowed by her stillness. The light of seeing my parents hold their grandchild, overshadowed by their tears. The light of seeing my Grandma smile lovingly at her great-grandchild, overshadowed by her tears.
The light is that my parents and sister were there with me, and continue to be. Another light is that my Grandma asked to come to the hospital. I would never have requested she come, but the fact that she wanted to see Lucy and told me how beautiful she is, is something I will never forget.