Everything is regrets and triggers right now.
Lucy was handed to me very quickly after her birth…I stared at her face and took in her features. She was in a blanket and, when the nurse offered to dress her in a gown, I agreed. I regret that I never took the time to look at all of her…to see her tummy, her legs, her feet. That is something I will never get back. My sister took lots of pictures for me and I took quite a few myself…but I regret not having more and I regret not having good close-ups of her face.
Triggers keep me from going out. I go to work and come home. I do grocery shopping and other errands at night…when I hope that pregnant women and babies will be home.