I have learned, and am continuing to learn, that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. Grief is a very personal and individual process.
One thing I have noticed is just the constant presence of Lucy in my mind. She is always there. And, while I’d want it no other way, I sometimes feel like I am losing my mind. Like I am drowning in my grief because there is no escape from it, no relief or break. But, if there was a break from it, I think I would feel guilty. Grief, to me, is no-win situation.