I can't believe I am going to live the rest of my life this way.
That every morning, for the next however many years, I will wake up and miss my babies.
That every single day, my heart will ache for them.
That every birthday, holiday, life event they should be celebrating, I will be grieving the losses all over again.
That this will never get "easier". It may get more manageable, I may be able to hide my grief better or save it for a more appropriate environment...but it will never get easier.
That the rest of my life will be this tortuous pain.